Thursday, December 19, 2013
Research Essay Thesis Statement
North Korea's negligence and ruthless punishment of its people has caused a stir in the nation itself as well as many of the other countries of East Asia including South Korea, China, Mongolia, and Japan with riots, rebellion, and the will to escape to a place where people can live freely.
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I think that the sentence will flow better if you said "has stirred the nation as well as.... with riots, rebellion, and the desire to live freely" or something similar.
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