Thursday, December 19, 2013

thesis statement


Christianity grew out of Judaism at the beginning of 6 AD when the formation of the Zealots occurred, Jesus and his followers gained a major upbringing in Christianity and even more so after Jesus’s Death, when his followers claim Jesus has been a resurrected messiah, officially in about 70 CE Christianity was when the second Jerusalem temple fell declaring the split.  
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3 comments:

  1. AnonymousDecember 19, 2013 at 12:36 PM

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  2. AnonymousDecember 19, 2013 at 12:46 PM

    I think that this sentence is a run-on. Maybe you could cut out some of the extra information. Also, you should be clear and state what the topic is. The sentence could be "Christianity broke off from Judaism around 6 AD after ___________" and list about three major causes.

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  3. AnonymousDecember 19, 2013 at 1:34 PM

    I agree with Sarah. It is a run-on sentence and the uses of "additionally" and "it was in" are awkward. Make sure your thesis clearly maps out what the essay would be about, also as Sarah said.

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