Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Thesis Statement

The Cold War, a psychological competition for world domination between the U.S.A. and U.S.S.R., lasted for forty-four years and sparked the economies of Ghana and India through the emerging policy of non-alignment, created as a result of the mounting cultural, financial, and martial pressures.

3 comments:

  1. 1. Very good overall. Just needs a few minor corrections.
    2. You can get rid of "lasted for forty-four years" and instead mention that in your essay (or outline).
    3. It would sound better to say, "and sparked the economies of both Ghana and India..."
    4. Change the word "mounting" to "rising"
    5. Other than that, very thought-out and professional :)

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  2. Very good thesis put this could be shorten.

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  3. This is a great thesis, and it creates a good structure for the essay, but it does have some extra information that can be explained elsewhere in the introduction or the rest of the essay (definition of the Cold War, etc.).

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